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A Drop in the Ocean

You ever cry so much you feel you emptied out every single tear out of your body?

Your heart aches so much it makes you physically heartsick?

You feel you’re drawning in your own sorrow?

The air so thick it suffocates you & your own lungs don’t seem to provide you with enough oxygen to breathe?

Then you realize what you’re feeling is just a drop of water that you have turned into the world’s ocean

You’re now carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders

When that moment passes, you let go, the drop of water you turned into oceans has evaporated, the air is now refreshing as sea breeze, you breathe it all in, your heart feels lighter, your tears have evaporated but somehow your soul feels replenished

Heather Heyer, 2 Years Later

2 years ago today, a brave 32 year old activist stood side by side with her brothers & sisters denouncing hate.

She stared racism right in its ugly face stoically, defiant, knowing she’s in the right of history.

Hatred marched through the streets of Charlottesville, NC that tragic day, but she showed us the way.

We won’t cower & hide.

She didn’t deserve to die.

Let her memory be honored.

Let’s eradicate hate.

Let her name be synonymous with strength.

Let’s remember her name.

Say her name:

Heather Heyer

Heather Heyer
May 29, 1985 – August 12, 2017

We won’t rest til we eradicate hate.

We are all equal yet we are a rainbow of colors & culture.

Let’s celebrate our differences, let’s respect each other’s beliefs, whatever they may be, we are all human, we are all Heather Heyer, let’s make the world a better place, it all starts with you & me.

Know Your Worth

When someone cares about you & truly loves you, they’ll make an effort to be a part of your life & show you however they can

If you have to constantly seek them out & beg for their affection, that person obviously doesn’t care about you

They’re not worthy of your time & love

You have to know when it’s time to walk away

Friendship is a two way street

It takes 2 people to make things work

I am learning this the hard way

Not everyone deserves all of me in the 1st place

One Way Street

Seems sometimes as if life is a one way street

You hit a dead end on the road and there is nowhere left to go

There is two big walls on your left and your right

You can always go back the way you came from

Try and try

until you finally find a road that keeps going; but who wants to keep going in circles?

You want to get to your destination

You want to keep moving forward

One Way Street

At times it seems like friendships or relationships are a one way street

you give and you give…. and give

And seems like that’s the only way you can keep going as well

You’re on a loop

And you never ever get anything in return

And by that I don’t mean materialistic bullshit

By that I mean you give them so much of yourself

Your concern, your affection your love, your energy, your time, your attention…….

And what do you get in return?

Neglect, half ass attempts to let you know how much they “care” about you

And the friendship or relationship that you hold so close

One way street….

Seems like it all could be a one way street

sometimes in our lives we look all around

And we see no one on site nowhere to go

Trapped in the same road riding around in circles in the same loop

Where not even “friends” seem to be able to point you in the right direction

Riding around and around on this one way street

I think I’m getting sick

Motion sickness takes over

From all this circles that just keep looping

Over & over and over again

I end up in the same dead end dark alley on this one way street cycle.

*wrote this on October 2007

Regression

Everywhere you look
Everywhere you turn
Seems like we are in a state of Regression
Going in circles
Over and over
an infinite loop of Ignorance
Can’t we learn from the past?

History repeats itself
Yet we make the same exact mistakes

Feels like a witch hunt
back in the dark ages
no real freedom of speech
no promise of a better tomorrow

Funny how a country that was the 1st power in the world
it’s like living in a 3rd world country,
poverty, high unemployment rate, crime…

Sorrounded by intelligent people who keep making idiotic decisions that are not fair or practical for the affected

Cryptic as this may sound I just can’t even begin to put in words how disgusted I am with the way society as a whole is becoming, yet I try to always make the best of everything and see the bright spot in a dark horizon, but you can’t deny or hide reality.

I am not trying to point fingers to our government because there are so many variables that factor in
what is going on, I partly think technology has affected and changed the course of history for ever,
As much as I love it I feel like the heart and soul of the essence of life is slowly fading away….

*I wrote this on September 12, 2008

On Friendship & such

Friendship…..

The word Friend or friends gets thrown around so much that its lost all its true meaning, does anyone really know what a friend really is?

A friend is someone who:

is Loving

Accepting

Loyal

non Judgemental

unconditional

laughs with you

smiles with you

lifts you up when you are down

shares fun with you

cries with you

Has your back

catches you before you fall

lends you a hand

encourages you

inspires you

motivates you

tells it like it is even if it hurts

truthful

honest

listens to you

talks to you

tells you when you’re headed for disaster

is like family

everlasting

makes you forget all your woes

for a life time…

A friend does not:

stab you in the back

rejoice in your sorrow

laugh at your pain

make you doubt yourself

gossip

turn their back on you

shut you up

kick you when you’re down

ignore you

lie to you

use you

take advantage of you

abandon you when you need them the most

let you down

let you fall

let you get hurt

egg on you

If you ever find a someone who is a real friend hold on to them, as precious treasure, because they are a rare breed in this twisted world we live in now. A true friend is always there for you not matter what, through the thick and thin, the high and lows…..

It’s so funny yet sad how we live in this society that if you meet someone who is a normal loving good person, who likes helping others and being nice, automatically this society we live in assumes if you’re nice it must be because you have a hidden agenda, no one is that nice unconditionally with out expecting something in return, no one can just be pure at heart, and be genuine, its a very sick world we live in, where the good people are the odds and the heartless are on top of the world spreading fear and hatred all over…..

used to be that a true friend was someone with a good heart who is there for you no matter what, and now… a friend(by society standards) is someone who drives a nice car, has money, a nice house, the jet set life, we don’t care about who they are but only what they have to offer that is convenient for us? what benefits can you rip from each other, and such!

what has this world come to?!?!?!?

why can’t we all just be?

why must we judge and be judged for all of our actions??!

We all bleed the same,

We all breath the same filthy air

bathe in the same tainted water,

an ultimately we all want to be accepted

but at what cost?

we need to push each other around

step on one another to get where we need to get to?

and the minute we are alone we can’t leave our precious technological gadgets behind… so is this a mix signal?

we need each other but yet we don’t?

we need each other at a distance that is safe for us?

I know I am not perfect

I may have not been the greatest of friends at some points of my life,

but I sure have tried to be as honest as they come with a sincere and open heart, never judging, always accepting, always willing to help as much as I can, believing that there is a good side to everyone.

I don’t know why this world is so twisted and why things work the way they do now, but as far as I’m concerned I will stay old fashioned when it comes to being a friend.

Friendship is something that is more valuable to me than any precious stone.

A stone does not respond to you, does not listen to you, doesn’t not fulfill your needs, so what good does a precious luxurious stone do for you if in the end it doesn’t bring you any joy or happiness but emptiness, sorrow and pain, an no one on site to share a thing with.

Friendship is the real treasure in this world.

I know that we all have our own little meaning of what friendship is, but this is just my humble opinion on this matter.

© Gemma

Originally wrote this on October 13, 2008

Why I write

So long as I remain alive and well I shall continue to feel strongly about prose style, to love the surface of the earth, and to take a pleasure in solid objects and scraps of useless information.

George Orwell
I snapped this picture from under a bus stop canopy, it’s actually not black & white, it’s just the lighting & silhouette gives that illusion.
Not everything is what it seems.

Since I was a kid I often enjoyed writing.

It was a way to cope with my surroundings, to process the world around me.

I have many passions: photography, music, art, film, poetry, philosophy, dance, nature, activism, cooking, creating, traveling, living, breathing… imagining.

But, above all, writing is my biggest passion.